I have not the Heart

I have not the heart
To tell you my pain
To show you my wounds
To let you see my true self

Shall I let you,
Look upon me and see these scars?
Hold my bleeding soul in your hands?
Carry my cross along the journey towards eternity?
I tell you, I have not the heart

This is the Lie:
The only one I will ever tell you
That when the whole world comes crashing down
You will only ever see my smile

You won't see my pain
You will never see my sorrow
You cannot see my shame
Because I have not the heart,
To let you fall down with me