oddly enough, i've been strangely fortunate with whatever's going on in my life. the one thing i hate doing the most (lying) has been saving my ass left and right. i'm making a point to stop but like i said earlier, it's like a second nature to me.
music's been a rather significant portion my life. day in and day out, i'm listening to all sorts of things like rock or classical or whatever. unfortunately, it's starting to sneak it's way in to other parts of my life.
the whole point of worship at church is to worship God but sometimes, i just do it for the music (i'm the sound guy so i'm supposed to pay attention to the music anyway but that's not the point). it's been difficult for me to listen to sermons and sunday school lessons when songs keep playing over and over in my head. even now, my brain is on shuffle (it's paramore i'm "listening to" btw), which makes sense that music is one of my greatest pleasures. God's supposed to be my number one but lately, it's as if He's been pushed back in line for the sake of music. i love God and i love music. so does that mean i'm supposed to......give up music? just the thought is terrifying to me. i can't give up music; music's everything. maybe that's why i need to give it up.
i haven't felt God's presence in a long time. i know He does this to help us turn to Him in our times of grief and trouble, but i haven't. i've just listened to music to drown out the noise of life. it's hard to write these things because when i do see it, it "becomes" real. i mean, i know it's there, but the simple act of writing actually brings the issue up to my face. :/ perhaps it's time to quiet down my life for God. who knows? things might take a turn for the better.
music's been a rather significant portion my life. day in and day out, i'm listening to all sorts of things like rock or classical or whatever. unfortunately, it's starting to sneak it's way in to other parts of my life.
the whole point of worship at church is to worship God but sometimes, i just do it for the music (i'm the sound guy so i'm supposed to pay attention to the music anyway but that's not the point). it's been difficult for me to listen to sermons and sunday school lessons when songs keep playing over and over in my head. even now, my brain is on shuffle (it's paramore i'm "listening to" btw), which makes sense that music is one of my greatest pleasures. God's supposed to be my number one but lately, it's as if He's been pushed back in line for the sake of music. i love God and i love music. so does that mean i'm supposed to......give up music? just the thought is terrifying to me. i can't give up music; music's everything. maybe that's why i need to give it up.
i haven't felt God's presence in a long time. i know He does this to help us turn to Him in our times of grief and trouble, but i haven't. i've just listened to music to drown out the noise of life. it's hard to write these things because when i do see it, it "becomes" real. i mean, i know it's there, but the simple act of writing actually brings the issue up to my face. :/ perhaps it's time to quiet down my life for God. who knows? things might take a turn for the better.
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