looking back on my life, i realize how far i've come. if someone were to look back on my earlier years, it would be nigh impossible to realize that crazed, enraged wreck of a child was once me. i'm no longer the child whose irrational behaviour and anger got the best of him. now i'm more analytical with my movements and actions. even so, i'm still a shadow of my former self.
i still do get angry, and rarely does it get the best of me. it still does, in which case i usually separate myself from the general public should i turn demonic and hurt someone. i have been known by several separate entities who have witnessed, and sometimes experienced, what anger can do to me. it's shown that the emotion anger inhibits the rationalization process within the brain, which explains why we do stupid things when we are infuriated, but still doesn't exempt me, or anyone for that matter, from the things we've done. i hated myself, and i still do, for all the things i've done under anger's spell.
it's difficult for me to channel my anger properly. instead of trying to something constructive, i just bury it deep within the pits of myself and move on. i have been able to control my temper, but only to a certain degree. there are times when that anger i've built up eventually spills over my barrier of self control and floods through my whole body. at which point, violence often ensues. with my friend (who shall remain nameless) felt the full blow of this flood, in other words, i broke his arm. however, it was by God's grace that somehow, instead of expulsion or suspension or saturday school, nothing happened.
it's at those low points in my life where God reveals Himself to me and i learn something new about myself. it was that day that i realized how dangerous i was when anger found its way to spill over my...."emotional levees," and from then on, i did my best to control myself and keep the floodwaters from rushing out. coincidentally, i had decided to take up tennis and it was then i realized that instead of unloading my emotional grief all at once, i was able to release some of that pent-up rage and keep the floodwaters of belligerence at bay.
i still do get angry, and rarely does it get the best of me. it still does, in which case i usually separate myself from the general public should i turn demonic and hurt someone. i have been known by several separate entities who have witnessed, and sometimes experienced, what anger can do to me. it's shown that the emotion anger inhibits the rationalization process within the brain, which explains why we do stupid things when we are infuriated, but still doesn't exempt me, or anyone for that matter, from the things we've done. i hated myself, and i still do, for all the things i've done under anger's spell.
it's difficult for me to channel my anger properly. instead of trying to something constructive, i just bury it deep within the pits of myself and move on. i have been able to control my temper, but only to a certain degree. there are times when that anger i've built up eventually spills over my barrier of self control and floods through my whole body. at which point, violence often ensues. with my friend (who shall remain nameless) felt the full blow of this flood, in other words, i broke his arm. however, it was by God's grace that somehow, instead of expulsion or suspension or saturday school, nothing happened.
it's at those low points in my life where God reveals Himself to me and i learn something new about myself. it was that day that i realized how dangerous i was when anger found its way to spill over my...."emotional levees," and from then on, i did my best to control myself and keep the floodwaters from rushing out. coincidentally, i had decided to take up tennis and it was then i realized that instead of unloading my emotional grief all at once, i was able to release some of that pent-up rage and keep the floodwaters of belligerence at bay.
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